Honesty is so tricky.
It sounds like a virtue we all should strive for yet most of us don’t know really how to handle it. People speak as though they do value the quality/action yet it is often explosive and controversial and it can turn things very quickly.
I think about this alot. Partly because I’m in a position where I hear people says all the time that they’d rather hear an honest opinion. It’s been my experience that it is not true. Not at all. Very very very few of us can handle honesty. I’d like to think that I do; I’d like to think that I handle it with patience. I don’t like hearing about myself or that I have done something less than righteous but I’d like to think that I at least sit with it. It’s always rough, though.
I think deciphering the motivation of each case of honesty is helpful. Is it meant to hurt me? Is it meant to help me? Is it coming from a place of love? I also need to check myself: did I ask for things that I’m not ready to hear?; Am I too proud to open my ears?; or did I just want to be affirmed and I was passive-aggressive about it?
It has happened to me quite a number of times that I was told to give an honest opinion and then I opened my mouth only to realize that I was supposed to give them their expected version of “honest” opinion. This happened more times than I’d like it to happen. I am very weary when people ask me for my honest opinion. Because they don’t really mean that. People wants to hear what they want to hear and everything else is dismissed.