Fathers MUST spoil their daughters.
This scientific conclusion has been drawn from the decades of experiments I have conducted upon myself. I realized that my comfort level/my happy place, grinded in my psyche deeply by my father in my super early years, is what is creating my attraction to a certain type of men. After careful analysis, lol, the pattern has emerged. Every single guy I find attractive reminds me of my father in some ways and of a relationship I had/have with my father. No wonder I’m f*$(ed. I’m thinking that there is this natural attraction to a guy but it turned out that I’m just repeating one particular scenario that is comfortable and familiar to me. Over and again.
Comfortable and familiar scenarios, in this context, for many many women are not good ones, unfortunately. We often find ourselves emotionally and spiritually and sometimes financially deprived and we wonder, how did I get myself here? Haven’t I met the love of my life? Weren’t we happy in the beginning? I don’t really know what happened? How does this always happen to me?
Where we find ourselves is our comfort zone. The place where we feel super familiar and at home.
When I realized this, I was devastated. I thought, this means I am not going to be happy the way I always wanted to be!! Guys I find attractive have always been ones with talents, intelligence, intrigue, and excitement, who made me work for their acceptance. I felt that I wasn't enough and the sense of peace and security never lasted long. I always felt exhausted and insecure in relationships. And that’s how it has always been with my father. He is very smart and talented and interesting. Those qualities have such strong pull for me and I have been oblivious to other qualities.
Fathers have one task when it comes to daughters. Spoil your girls. Create a comfort zone that is truly comfortable for her. You want her to learn to be attracted to kindness and gentleness and sweetness; not to deprivation, not to judgements, and not to indifference. Don’t make her work for it. That makes sense? You want her to be able to find a nice guy attractive, who will take a very good care of your little girl. Leave the preaching to us mothers.